Читаем без скачивания Английский язык: самоучитель - Денис Шевчук

Dr. Watson replied, «Well, sir, I see millions of stars in the sky.»

Sherlock Holmes asked, «And what does that tell you?»

Dr. Watson paused for a moment and said, «Well, astronomically it tells me that there are billions of stars and possibly millions of galaxies in the universe. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Horalogically I can deduce that it is approximately quarter past three in the morning. Theologically it symbolizes that God is magnificent and that we humans are small and insignificant in the universe. And meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.»

To which Sherlock Holmes replied, «No, stupid! Someone has stolen our tent!»

Restless God

in the beginning, god created Earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

A Driving Debacle

a guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, «Is there a problem, Officer?»

«No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?»

He thought for a minute and said, «Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license.»

The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, «Oh, don't pay attention to him – he's a smart ass when he's drunk and stoned.»

The guy from the back seat said, «I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!»

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, «Are we over the border yet?»

An O'Malley Coincidence

a man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

«Why, of course,» comes the reply.

The first man then asks, «Where are you from?»

«I'm from Ireland,» replies the second man.

The first man responds, «You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland.»

«Of course,» says the second.

Curious, the first asks, «Where in Ireland?»

«Dublin», comes the reply.

«I can't believe it, me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin».

«Of course».

The second man can't help himself so he asks, «What school did you go to?»

«Saint Mary's», replies the first man. «I graduated in 62.»

«This is becoming unbelievable!!!» the second man said.

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. «What's up?» he asks the bartender.

«Nothing much», replied the bartender. «The O'Malley twins are drunk again!»

Tongue Twisters – Скороговорки

i scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!

If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?

World Wide Web

There was a fisherman named Fisherwho fished for some fish in a fissure.Till a fish with a grin,pulled the fisherman in.Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

Six slimy snails sailed silently.

A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!

Elizabeth 's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.

How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much

cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?

Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

Four furious friends fought for the phone.

Learn the real language: Mood

Слова и выражения по теме «Настроение»

Хорошее настроение

I'm really buzzing! – У меня все просто здорово.

I'm having a really peachy time! – Япревосходнопровожувремя.

I'm walking on air! – Я на седьмом небе от счастья!

I'm on cloud nine! – Это просто блаженство!

I'm totally over the moon. – Ябезумносчастлив!

Everything's cool. – Все здорово (отлично)!

I haven't got a care in the world – Меня ничто не тревожит (мне не о чем беспокоиться).

Плохое настроение

I've had the week from hell. – Уменябылаужаснаянеделя.

nightmare of a week – кошмарнаянеделя

I couldn't care less. – Мне совершенно безразлично (наплевать).

He's been really edgy / on edge / snapping at everyone. – Он ужасно раздражителен (готов наброситься на кого угодно без причины).

She threw a wobbly. – Она не в себе.

I had a complete fit. – Меня не на шутку разозлили.

She blew her top. – У нее «крыша» поехала.

Oh, Daniel makes my blood boil. – Даниэль приводит меня в бешенство.

Разногласия

· They've been at each other's throats all morning. – Они все утро ссорятся.

· There's a bad vibe round here. – Здесь плохая (тяжелая) атмосфера.

· The fur's been flying. – Начались серьезные разногласия (ссоры).

· Milo getting offered that job has really ruffled Jack's feathers / put Jack's nose out of joint / put Jack out – Новость о том, что Мило получил работу, расстроила Джека. Ему было очень обидно. Новость выбила Джека из колеи.

· 'Speak to the hand 'cos the face ain't listening! . – Я больше не собираюсь слушать тебя!

Решение проблем / Устранение разногласий

· We've kissed and made up. – Мы поцеловались и помирились.

· They're back on speaking terms. – Они вновь общаются.

· We've made it up. – Мы все уладили.

· Forget it – It's water under the bridge. – Забудь это. Все прошло (конфликт исчерпан).

Learn the real language: Work

Слова и выражения по теме «Работа»

· full-time job – полная занятость, работа полный рабочий день

· part-time job– частичная занятость, работа неполный рабочий день

· freelancer – внештатный сотрудник

· I am self-employed. – Я работаю на себя.

· dotcom start up – новая интернет-компания

· job share – объем работы, предусмотренный на 1 ставку, распределяется на несколько человек

· to float the company / to go public – разместить акции компании на фондовой бирже

· Why don't you send in your CV with a covering letter? – Почему бы тебе не отправить твое резюме с препроводительным письмом (в таком письме обычно приводится обоснование намерений относительно вакантной должности)?

· Look carefully at the job spec. – Внимательно ознакомьтесь с должностными обязанностями.

· I've been shortlisted. – Я отобран для участия в конкурсе по итогам первоначального отбора.

· I'm down to the last three! – Я в числе трех основных претендентов!

· I'm doing work experience – Я прохожу практику (стажировку).

· Fancy a coffee break? – Как насчет небольшого перерыва на кофе?

· I'd love to but I'm totally snowed under at the moment! – Я бы с удовольствием, но сейчас я просто завален работой.

· I'm working like a dog! – Я пашу как лошадь!

· I'd better just press on. – Я лучше продолжу работать.

· I've done a lot of overtime. – Я отработал много сверхурочных (часов, смен).

· She claimed for unfair dismissal – Она подала апелляционную жалобу в связи с несправедливым увольнением.

· to sack / fire / dismiss – увольнять

· Molly was made redundant. – Молли уволили по сокращению штатов.

· She's set up a new company with her golden handshake. – Она основала компанию, вложив в нее ту значительную сумму, которую получила в качестве финансовой компенсации при уходе с предыдущего места работы.

· He's taking early retirement. – Он уходит на пенсию раньше времени.

· He was a millionaire by the time he was 20. Now he's burnt out. – К 20 годам он стал миллионером. Теперь же он просто выдохся.

· I'm taking a career-break – Я беру длительный отпуск за свой счет.

· Today I handed in my resignation. – Сегодня я подал заявление об увольнении по собственному желанию.

Olympics

the olympic games are believed to have begun more than 3,000 years ago, although written records only exist from 776 BC.

The records show that these Games consisted of activities that were the skills of soldiers, like boxing, javelin and the Marathon. At just over twenty-six miles long, the Marathon is the longest running race in the Games and it is named after the site of a battle in ancient Greece. According to legend, a Greek messenger ran to Athens to bring news of the Greek victory and died of exhaustion just after giving his message.

The ancient Olympic Games continued for nearly 1,200 years until the Roman emperor, Theodosius I, abolished the Games because of their pagan influences.

Around 1,500 years later, in 1894, the Frenchman, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, helped to re-establish the Games. He also created the structure of the modern Olympic Movement.

Nowadays the aim of the Olympic Movement is to promote peace, friendship and understanding between different nations through sport. And appropriately, the first modern Olympic Games were held in Greece in 1896.

Just over 200 men, representing 14 countries, competed in a total of 43 events. Winners received a silver medal, a certificate and a crown of olive leaves. Runners-up were given bronze medals and a crown of laurel while those who finished third went home empty-handed.

The Olympic Games are held every four years with one country being responsible for the organisation of the event. There is often fierce competition to be the host city. In 2004, Greece hosts the Games and in 2008 they will be held in Beijing in China.

the site of a battle

the place where a battle happened

legend

a legend is a very old story that may be based on facts

exhaustion

the state of being so tired that you have no energy left

abolished

stopped

pagan influences

if something has a pagan influence it is affected by beliefs that are not connected with any of the main religions of the world

Movement

A movement is a group of people who share the same ideas or opinions

aim

an aim is something that a person or group of people want to achieve

through sport

if you do something through another thing, you use that thing to achieve another. So here, the Olympic Movement is using sport to promote peace between nations

runners-up

here, the people who come second in a race or game. Usually a runner-up is a person or team who do not finish first but do win a prize

a crown

a circular ornament for the head, usually made of gold and jewels which Kings and Queens wear at official ceremonies

went home empty-handed

did not receive anything. This phrase is used here to show the difference between the early Games and the new Games where people who finish in third place receive a bronze medal

Telephoning

reason:

You will often have telephone contact with a company before an interview. Some companies will even assess these phone calls as part of the selection process.

Objective:

To leave a positive impression, of someone who's capable and efficient.

The basic problem

Lots of research shows that the biggest impact in spoken-word communication is visual. Some researchers say it's as much as three-quarters of the total. Yet on the phone we don't have any of that. Our voice has to do all the work.

If we want people at the other end to form a good impression of us, we need to give more thought to business phone calls than we do when we're just chatting to our friends.

Your calling them

There are two main possibilities.

· The job advert asks you to ring the company for an application form.

· Or, usually a little later in the process, you have to ring up and arrange a time for an interview.

Either of these cases can be entirely straightforward – just a matter of getting a small administrative task done. But depending on who you speak to, there could also be questions of a sort you wouldn't otherwise expect until you fill in the application form or go for an interview.

These could be either factual – «what's your educational background?» – or human – «what interested you particularly about this job?»

It makes sense to be prepared before you make the call, just as you would before an interview.

Часть 2

LESSON 1. At the weekend

LEAD-IN

1. Answer the questions about yourself.

Напишите ответы на вопросы о себе.